Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
