Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
