Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
