You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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