none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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