Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
