i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize