he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
