Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
