At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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