I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
