i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
