I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i love accidental penises.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
