Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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