I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
