No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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