how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
