everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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