And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
