With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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