Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
