i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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