i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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