I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
