Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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