Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
