'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
