Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
