fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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