Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
