i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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