its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
