There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
