Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
