forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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