my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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