I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
