these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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