drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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