This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
