marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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