btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
