This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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