Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
