My room smells like vodka and shame
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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