Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
