she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
