we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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