using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize