so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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