Are we in a gay sports bar?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
