I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
