Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize