it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize