Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
