BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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