Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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