Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
