we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I believe in your delicious
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
