you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
