Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
