I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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